Over. Done. Bird.

This is the bird that ruined my day. 

The Honest Truth on Thanksgiving

OK 

The honest truth.  

My husband, whom I love dearly, and I cannot get along in the kitchen.  I also cannot stand the way he drives a car.  I am SURE he feels the same about me.  

So, I had all the sides done yesterday, except for the stuffing and mashed potatoes, but all the ingredients were lined up.  The ONLY thing that wasn't cooked was the turkey.  I had the sage and butter, I'm rubbing it all over the bird, and my husband said it smelled good.  That's a good sign.

I put the bird in the oven, figuring two hours.  (Remember that I splayed out the bird flat).  At the hour mark, I take the bird out of the oven and I begin basting it in melted butter and the juices at the bottom of the pan.  My husband questions what I'm doing.  I put the bird back in, and we had a discussion,  he insists that basting the bird dries it out.  I remind him that I brined the bird and nothing short of overcooking the hell out of it will make the bird dry.

Fill in the blank here.

I do not baste the bird anymore.

I take the bird out at 1:45 cooking time, and tak the temperature.  The thigh is registering 185* but the breast is only 155*,  so we put back in the oven for another 15 minutes.  

I take the bird out again.  We split it in half.  I think it looks great. He starts disassembly and there is blood at the joint socket.  Mind you the juices are running clear.  He slices into the breast and suggests that it is pink.  We put the bird back in.  45 minutes later he takes it out.  And we eat. Finally, because the sides are all cold.  We have to microwave the potatoes and dressing and gravy......

He is raving that this is the best turkey he has ever eaten. He is admitting that he never liked cranberry sauce, but this stuff I made is delicious. 

I think the breast meat is dry.  At least 200* in my estimation. I didn't dare put a thermometer in it.  He was in charge of the bird at this point.  

That's why I had three pieces of pie for dessert. I was still hungry for desert.  

Does stuff like this happen at anybody else's house?

I'm thinking I'm a freak.  And honestly, I'm not a chef.  I'm just a home cook, who, all life long have had friends and family say I could open a restaurant, they love my food so much.  My husband listened to one radio talk show and he thinks he is an expert.  I've read thousands of cookbooks. I give the as presents.  I cherish food related things.

BUT I FEEL LIKE CRYING AND GIVING UP!!!!!

I trust thermometers to tell me when the food is done, (and my nose). 

I try to do really good dSLR photography, and the hoops I have to jump through to get images uploaded.....it isn't worth it because the iPhone does in seconds what I have to labor hours over.  Who gives a crap about this stuff anyway.

I didn't want to get involved with Facebook.  My sister talked me into it.  My friends told me I should have a food related page.  My kids said its easy.  

It is not, and this is not what I thought I'd be doing..... Uploading crap pictures from my iPhone isn't what I wanted to do.  I certainly don't want to ruin it for others.  I hope this is coming across as truthful or at least sincere, because I can't do this anymore.  It isn't fun, or rewarding....I'm frustrated, and upset.

Thanksgiving isn't supposed to be this way, and this page isn't living up to its title.

Pulled Pork - Smoke Ring

My husband and I wrestled with the idea of a smoker.  Should we buy one? Should we build one?

Finally, deciding on buying one, we took the plunge.  After ruining only one piece of $50 meat, we stand back and wonder "Why didn't we do this sooner?"

The smell alone is worth the cost.  Our neighbors are envious.  The dogs in the neighborhood love us.

So my advice to anyone wondering if it is something you will use, or will it be a "one and done" thing that collects leaves in your yard, like the deep turkey fryer you bought, but won't use because you are afraid of burning down the garage..... Get it.  You can smoke year round, and after just a bit of practice, you can crank out restaurant worthy meats so good your mother-in-law would be proud to invite friends over.

I don't know if it gets any better than that.

Happy Halloween